There are "musical eroticism in the pastoral world" and eubanks winklerhundreds of break up horror stories online -- tales of vindictive exes destroying property, spreading rumors, or even trying to ruin careers. But this story takes the cake. (Or toilet.)
Redditor u/shelblikadoo broke up with her (now ex) boyfriend, and when she woke up, her toilet was gone. "I split up with my boyfriend yesterday," she wrote. "I fell asleep while he was packing and he stole my toilet."
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"The toilet in my apartment broke," u/shelblikadoo said while dishing out some of the backstory. "My better judgement said call the landlords and they'll fix it."
Instead, her boyfriend insisted on repairing the broken toilet.
"He's thrown it in my face ever since," she said in the comment section of a photo posted in r/WTF. "Every little dispute we had it was, 'You're gonna be like that after I put so much money in this apartment?'"
She said that they had been dating for the last 10 months, but "the red flags started showing about two months ago."
"For about the past month I've been trying to find the right words to let him down easy," u/shelblikadoo said in an email to Mashable. "Because despite being slightly delusional he really is a nice dude (deep deep down.)"
SEE ALSO: How to watch the historic Thanos-inspired Reddit banAlthough it's been a few months since he fixed her toilet, when she finally broke up with him the first words out of his mouth were, "I'm taking the fucking toilet."
The photo she posted Tuesday shows a typical bathroom: a shelf full of Q-tips, an empty roll of toilet paper, and a gaping hole in the floor where the toilet once was.
"He's a licensed plumber so he knew what he was doing," u/shelblikadoo said. "Every breakup just gets more and more interesting."
Her landlords couldn't believe it, either. When she told them that her boyfriend stole the toilet, "they LAUGHED so hard."
"They thought it was a joke," she said over email. "And the plumbers thought the landlords were joking."
Clearly over the whole experience, even u/shelblikadoo joined in on the pun making.
Unfortunately, she spent a good part of the day without a toilet, and was "waiting on a plumber all day."
"Been running to Taco Bell every time I gotta go," she confessed in the comments.
Although her landlords suggested that she press charges, u/shelblikadoo didn't want to see him in court. Friendly Redditors helped her set up a GoFundMe for a new toilet. As for her break up, u/shelblikadoo said she's "not even torn up" over the end of the relationship, but called it "the most insane breakup" she's ever been through.
When they broke up, her ex told her that her life was going nowhere. But with the post, which blew up on Reddit, u/shelblikadoo hopes that he sees it and "feels remorse."
"I don't claim to be better than anyone, but I'm at least trying to make it and trying to move forward in life," she said. "No matter what it throws at me. He, however, is an almost 30-year-old alcoholic who doesn't care to try to do better."
And he steals toilets.
This story has been updated to include quotes from u/shelblikadoo.
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